Thanksgiving

Does anyone ever really know what they are doing? I don't think so. I just think that some people are better at faking it. I can't be the only one bumbling along accidentally getting things right from time to time. Surely there are other mixed-up souls 'enjoying' their work when they know it's not their passion. If not, well, I'm screwed because after twenty six years I still have absolutely no clue.
I have a college degree and have struggled to work in my field for 4 years only to find it life-sucking and depressing. But I kept doing it because I felt I had to. One of the hardest things I have ever had to do was admit that I hate what I spent thousands of dollars and years 'learning' to do. On the one hand, I'm young and have plenty of time to change my mind. But on the other, I'm in my late twenties and everyone is looking at me to get married and have babies. The idea is starting to lodge in my brain with more compatability, which is frightening in itself. So what do I do?
I work with special needs and have found a real passion for it. There is nothing quite like being there for someone who really needs you. Even if they don't have filters and cant comprehend how complicated organizing their lives are, they love you absolutely, making everything worth it. But still I havent commited to that new career. I'm dragging my feet, clinging to my degree.
My true passion has always been writing, which is why I am starting this blog, I guess. I wrote my first short story when I was nine. I barely go a day without jotting something down. I recently finished my second novel and am searching for agents and publishers, but in the most embarassingly wimpy way. I just can't get myself to put my work out there. These characters are more real to me at times than my life, and once the book is finished I almost feel like crying. So I'm going to try and update this blog with funny interesting stories about anything and everything to convince myself my writing is worthwhile. If you like it, woot for me. If not, you can bite me.